Have you ever sat there with your head in your hands after going out with a girl, wondering, “What did she mean by that?” Perhaps it’s old-fashioned to buy into the stereotype and say that women don’t always say what’s on their minds, but it’s one with a pretty significant basis in truth.
Once you learn her language and understand what she wants, it will make talking to her a lot easier. Keep in mind that women don’t do this because they’re trying to be conniving or deceptive–they want to be cared for, and feel like their needs should often be obvious and that we’re just ignoring the signs. Take this as a challenge and meet it head-on.
- What did she say? “I don’t want to talk about it.”
What did she mean? I actually do want to talk about it, but I’m not sure how to bring it up.” When she says this, she wants you to notice something’s wrong–she wants to know you care about her enough to notice when her behavior indicates she’s not okay.
- What did she say? “Let’s stay friends.”
What did she mean? “Let’s be friends, but not right after we just broke up, and not for at least the next few weeks or months. I need some time away from you to move on.” Take this as a sign that, while she may still want to be friends with you, that she needs some space–you’ll benefit from it, too.
- What did she say? “I wish more guys were like you.”
What did she mean? “I’m not interested in dating you, but I wish the guys I am interested in were as nice and emotionally supportive as you are.” If you’re taking the time to be there for a girl who’s with another guy and she says this, don’t get your hopes up–this just cements that you’re in the friend zone.
- What did she say? “Does this make me look fat?”
What did she mean? “I want affirmation from you that I’m attractive.” Women say this not to test you, but because they may not feel very attractive in their outfit and want to know that you still think they look good.
- What did she say? “What are you doing tonight?”
What did she mean? “Do you want to hang out with me tonight?” She’ll say this so as not to seem too forward in making a move, but still making sure you know that she’s available.
- What did she say? “I’m not seeing anyone.”
What did she mean? “I’m not exclusively dating anyone, though I may be dating or sleeping with other people while seeing you.” Or, she may not be seeing anyone at all
and wants to gauge how interested you would be in changing that.
- What did she say? “Do you think she’s cute?”
What did she mean? “Is she more attractive than I am?” If she asks you this, she feels insecure and fears losing you to someone she thinks is prettier than she is. This is another time where you have to reassure her that you’re on a date with her, no matter how smoking hot the woman across the street happens to be.
- What did she say? “Do you really want to go to that?”
What did she mean? “I’m really not excited about going to this.” When she says this, she wants to affirm that wherever you’re going–a movie, sports event, whatever–is something you really want to do, and she may go in order to make you happy, but she hopes you’ll pick up that she might want to do something else.
So, there you have it. This is a small sample of the encyclopedia’s worth of things she could say that mean something else, but these are some of the ones we hear all the time in our relationships. Keep an eye out for nonverbal cues as well and you’ll be an expert at understanding what the women in your life really mean in no time.